Adrian

Name: Adrian Pally Becker

…And yes, my maiden name is Pally! I am Rachel’s mother…and when she started her business, she took on the name Rachel Pally—both to honor her maternal family, and because she liked the way it sounded as a brand! 

Work: Most of my career was in early childhood and parenting education. But for the past 16+ years, I (along with my husband) have been working in Rachel’s business.

Children: My husband Donny and I have 2 children….Rachel is the eldest is 39 and Joseph is 36.

What does Community Mean to You?

Community means so many things. It means the sense of connection with the people you work with. It means caring about these people and their families…and letting them know.   Never in my memory has the world felt so much life a community. We are ALL in this together….which is both reassuring and frightening. 

On a smaller scale, community means:

Neighbors—reaching out, letting them know that you are there if they need you. 

Friends—it means maintain those connections. It takes work. You can have circles of friends —they may not know each other, but through you they are connected. Take the time.  

Family first and foremost. They are my primary community. Now in this time, it is ever more important to let them know.  Hard to write this right now—so challenging. But there you have it….the more challenging it is, the more important it is to keep close.  Teaching your children to cherish and nourish the same sense of community.

Tell us about women who made the most impact on your life at each stage:

Early Life—#1 my mother (and every single stage, even after her death.) 

My 20’s—when I lived in another city, several of my wonderful best girl friends who were forming themselves as well.

My 30’s - Joan Barnes who started Gymboree (we owned a Los Angeles franchise for 25 years) and was a great business role model and mentor.

My 40’s- My mother, my amazing mother-in -law, my sister. All incredibly strong, creative, loving women with strong social consciousness.

My 50’s to present - all of the above. I have been so very blessed with amazing women in my life….who questioned norms and found their own ways forward. 

And….my daughter Rachel…who models what it is to be a conscious and fair leader, friend, mother, wife, and daughter. Making hard decisions. Finding silver linings. Not folding under all the extremes that surround her. Being vulnerable and then recovering. Is it possible to do it all…Mothering? Business? House? Meals? Friends? Family? Traditions? Schedule. Maybe not…but if anyone is up to the challenge, Rachel is. She never ceases to amaze me.

We are all wearing so many hats these days, especially with the shelter order in place!  Motherhood, work, family, homeschooling...we often let ourselves be the last on the list. How are you finding the space to recharge?

Nothing good can be said about what is going on now….that said, for the first time in more years than I can remember, I am finding MY way, time for me, exploring new ideas and activities. My life…for 40 years…has been about childrearing, creating a demanding business, worrying about the children, about the business, non stop –all of you young working mothers know exactly what I mean.  

This crisis insists that I pull back, stay home, disconnect. The hardest thing about what is going on, is that I can be no help at all to Rachel and her family. A big focus of my life..and my husband’s,  has—up until now-- been about our kids and grandkids…. so to not be able to be involved right now is hard for us.  We wish we could help make things easier Rachel, for her husband, and her kids while they are juggling so much. And we miss our grandsons so much!  So….it’s all about letting go of old ways….for now.  We will all flourish in new ways after this. It will be different, but there will be new doors opening as well. But life will resume again—and I hope that I can also hold onto some of the good realizations of this quarantined time. 

A new vegetable garden, cleaning closets, cooking and baking, Zoom yoga with my yoga group, Zoom book club, walking in the neighborhood, knitting, listening to podcasts, and just set up an art studio in our guesthouse. 6pm Cocktail hour with my husband, Zoom cocktails with friends. I am fine-ish!

What are five words that describe you?

Caring and kind. Pie maker. Good friend. Loving wife, mother, and grandmother. Nature lover…outdoor adventurer.

A piece of advice that you find helpful (can be anything!)

Find kindness all day long. Find joy in small things. Let go of the little things that really don’t matter. Find time each day to laugh. Even if you are alone. Listen to classical music, or piano jazz, or 60’s folk rock..really any music that moves you. 

Walk, dance, or move your body somehow…every day. Reach out to someone each day. 

Change the world for the better with love and kindness. Eat something yummy each day. Have a glass of wine each night. Literally smell the roses, or jasmine, or orange blossoms. What a pleasure those natural fragrances are! Be patient. This will get better.